Lessons Learned from a 12-year-old

A 12-year-old girl in my ward gave a beautiful talk. In it, she spoke about her experience playing on a basketball team. I listened closely, perhaps because I loved playing basketball when I was her age, but most likely because her insights were exactly what I needed to hear that day.

I had been feeling a lot of regret for choices that I made which resulted in a damaged friendship. I wanted so badly to have another chance to get it right, but my friend had made it clear that she was ready to move on. She wasn't willing to change her mind and had blocked me from reaching out to her.

As I heard this young woman, wise beyond her years, talk about life lessons in basketball, I gained clarity that added to my understanding and healing.

She said that when she first started playing basketball, she wasn't very good at it. One time in a game, her teammates passed her the ball, and she threw it so hard that it flew over the backboard, completely missing the goal. She was embarrassed and didn't think anyone would ever want to pass her the ball again. Over time, she practiced hard to improve her skills, and gradually she was able to shoot with much more accuracy. Her teammates started to trust her again and passed the ball to her more often.

The word trust struck me when she said it. One of the hardest parts of my experience was the feeling that I couldn't be trusted. I wanted others to trust me. Most of all, I wanted to be able to trust myself. I wanted to know that I could be a good friend and that I could avoid the same mistakes in the future. I didn't want any more pain for myself, and I didn't want to let anyone else down. 

This sweet young woman's talk taught me that I could increase my trustworthiness with practice and patience. If I could focus on my healing and improvement
, I would witness a gradual restoration of trust by those around me. I would have more consistently successful relationships, and I would feel less fear of failure. I knew I would need the support of my Savior to make these improvements. His grace strengthens and empowers me.

I'm grateful for the lesson I learned from a mature 12-year-old who was willing to share her story of rebuilding trust after failure.